pissed off and psyched out

the no sugar thing... is brutal. however, about 65% of the time i'm feeling pretty good about this decision. i was unbelievably exhausted last night. and slept better than i have in weeks. i woke up and had some cottage cheese and plain yogurt... and strawberry/orange/banana crystal light with wheat grass ice cubes. yeah. in a very local health food store, i found frozen wheat grass juice!! far too exciting. and they make excellent ice cubes! i drank more water today that i did in all of last week. which makes my body very happy... and my bladder a little overexcited. there were many dashes to the bathroom throughout the day.

i went and worked out. and worked extra hard, because i'm pretty pissed off. let me tell you why. about 2 weeks ago, i went to work out. usually after every workout, i have a chat with the owner. she's pretty cool... and has been very interested in helping me find a job. this particular day she asked me if i was interested in working for her. i was thrilled!! it's what i need at the moment. to be immersed in the healthy. and away from a kitchen stocked with tasty tasty food... and sugar. so, the next day... i brought in my CV, and told her that the only experience that i have is in the kitchen. she seemed to be alright with this. so, we didn't talk about it at all that week. last week... i took the week off. on the friday of last week though, i went onto the local job finding website. i check it out every single day to see who is hiring... and try to send out a few resumes. anyways, what do i see? only one posting for fort erie. for a personal trainer. at freaking CURVES!! i was kind of offended. so, what did i do? i immediately sent her a strongly worded email. well... strongly in the kindest way possible. letting her know that i was interested. so... yesterday, i went in and she wasn't there. but, i had the chance to talk with one of the other trainers to find out what the situation was... and i asked her to leave a note for the woman asking for her to call me. which then brings us to today. still no phone call. no reply to my email. and when i saw her, she asked me how i was... but, she wasn't able to look me in the eyes... because her head was turned and she was headed back out the door. i will go and work out tomorrow. but, i think that i'm finished being aggressive about this particular job. it's her turn.

for lunch, i made a tasty salad! arugula, parmesan cheese, a light grainy mustard dressing, and topped it with 2 perfectly poached eggs. yum! this afternoon, i just relaxed. made sure siobhan did her chores. and took a few surveys that were sent to me. i do probably 2 a day. its fun. gives me something to do. and, for some reason leads me to believe that my opinions on toilet paper commercials really do matter. todays survey? the topic... SUGAR. oh, how i wish i was joking. more specifically.... candy. what my favourite was. how i feel about licorice. every question possible about delectable satisfying, comforting candy. i made it through the survey. and sipped on my crystal light.

oh! dinner.. yum! i made tomato and white bean soup. it was pretty effin' good. and easy. and there are leftovers! i think that tomorrow, i might add some ground chicken to the leftovers. and it will be like a loose tomatoey sauce. and bake spaghetti squash... and eat it like pasta and meat sauce. i feel like i'm constantly trying to psych out my palate... and make it believe that all this food is rich and filling. like a big bowl of gnocchi with brown butter. oh goodness.