i guess i could sweep...

last summer when aderito was working and i was just hanging out at home... i managed to fill my day. there seemed to always be something to do! this winter while i was working, aderito was laid off... during the day he cleaned and cooked and was waiting for me when i got home. candles lit, dinner waiting for me on the table. it was so nice! but, now... aderito is back to work. and i am working. so, when i come home... all that there is waiting for me is a sink full of dishes and a floor that needs to be swept. i'd rather not do either at the moment... so, i read through all the blogs i like. sent messages on heytell to my sister. and now... here i sit. looking at the clock, wondering when aderito will be home.

the preserved lemons are done. and they are lovely! i took a handful of the zest and put it into the food processor with lots of sugar... until it was a nice wet mess. then into a pot with an equal amount of water... and made a lovely lemon syrup! it's so good with perrier. this is for sure. i'm going to make a cheesecake this weekend... i think that a splash of the syrup will be perfect. i made a pear, rum and vanilla bean confiture on the weekend... i think that i might swirl that around in the cheesecake too. tasty!

aderito and i found a new apartment! we weren't looking, but we weren't not looking. we know that eventually we will need 2 bedrooms. and i know that i don't really like having to drive aderito to work and pick him up when he is done... and yes, he does take the bus... but only coming home. anyways, every morning i drop him off we drive by a smaller apartment building. it's 3 floors... and not too big. we've commented a few times that it looks nice and would be wildly convenient for us. last week we noticed that there was a 2 bedroom apartment for rent! so, i called the number, then we went to see the apartment, filled out the application... and this morning the landlord called letting us know that the apartment was ours! wooo!! so, that means that in less than a month we will be out of here... our wee little place. which works well for us. i think that aderito especially likes that it's about 5 steps from the bed to the refrigerator! haa!! but, i'm looking forward to a bit more space... and a whole lot more closets! right now everything is shoved into closets at maximum capacity. the living room at the new apartment will look hilarious! we have a lazy boy recliner... and that's about it! ok ok.

it's time to do... something productive.

when life gives you lemons...

...you preserve them. well. that's what i decided to do. i was given the opportunity to have loads of organic lemons... and i brought them home and cut them, pushed them into jars, covered them in salt. and in a few weeks they will be perfect. i decided that for the most part i will cut away the salty sour rind and toss it into the food processor with some sugar. then into a pot with some water... to make the most delicious lemon simple syrup. i haven't decided what i will do with it in the end. perhaps it will make part of a sparkly drink when mixed with perrier. or, sweeten a batch of cold tea. i will most definitely make a pound cake and sweeten it with the syrup. on goodness. that would be ideal with some strawberries. come on spring... and summer!

aderito and i have settled into our apartment well. we still don't really have any furniture. which is fine, because i don't know where we would put it. my grandparents gave us a huge new lazyboy recliner. it's wonderful! but, other than that... we are still sitting in patio chairs at the table.

i'm working... and aderito is waiting for his boss to return from portugal so they can get back to work. ei has taken their time, and made a mistake processing his claim. hoepfully it comes through soon. work for me? it's ok. i am tempted to write more... but, i don't want to get dooced. what i will say is... it allows me to be around delicious inspiring organic food... of all kinds. i can work at my own speed, but still be part of a team. and the team i am part of makes me laugh often... i especially like working with rena. she's so funny... we have great talks... and she's a total peacemaker. which is a good influence on me. oh! and we only give the customers the most perfect of fruit and vegetables. which means i can take the not-so-good stuff. it's been a bit of a challenge to decide what i am going to do with the stuff i bring home. so far i've made stuff i can put into jars. yum! plum and baco noir confiture, peach and strawberry confiture, strawberry confiture, apple pie jam, apple butter, tomato and cilantro salsa and most recently orange and lemon marmalade. i very much appreciate having a job where this is a perk. a big huge perk. it's pretty exciting to have different jams available for when i just might need it... and to give away occasionally too!

last year... around october aderito and i decided to try and make a baby! i started charting, taking prenatals, stopped drinking soda... and went to, ahem... work. by the beginning of december i knew that i was pregnant... and took 3 tests to confirm it. as soon as i could i called the nearest midwifery clinic and made an appointment to make a birth plan and meet my midwife. i was told while i am waiting for the appointment to come... to see my doctor for blood/urine work and an ultrasound. i went, and took it all to my midwife at our appointment. she suggested that i go to another ultrasound seeing as the last one had been about a month back. on the 4th of january i went... and was told that the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks 2 days. it was devastating. my midwife suggested seeing my doctor to see what to do next. so, the next week... i saw her. she suggested doing a d&c (they dilate the cervix, and curettage... or scrape the uterus to get all the products of conception out). so, an appointment was made to see the obgyn (just a obgyn consult), and i had an ultrasound to see if the diagnoses was still the same. but! the night before the d&c consult appointment... i started bleeding... i was miscarrying all on my own. off to the hospital i went... only to be sent home and was told to come back for an ultrasound in the morning. of course the u/s showed that i was still retaining products. back to the doctor i went. she suggested that we do another u/s to see if there was anything left now that all the bleeding had stopped. and then... hahaha... the doctor sent me for one more ultrasound to check again to see if there was anything left. sure enough, i was told again that there was a bit of retained product. but, at the same time i had ovluated. waiting for my doctor to get back to me with an another appointment to see the obgyn for a d&c consulation... i finally got my period. yay! where does everything stand now? hopefully with me having an empty uterus... and no d&c in sight.

needless to say the past few months have been similar to riding a rollercoaster. it's been rough... but, from past life experience... i know that everytime something completely crap happens.... there is always something good waiting on the other side.

i understand grieving. i am very aware that i need a network of support in place as well. aderito and i talk about the miscarriage often, my family equally supportive and loving. and my commitee of girls that always say the best possible things at times i didn't know i needed a bit of extra love. but, i know that my grief would be a whole lot easier if the people i worked for were a tad more compassionate. i was told 3 weeks after the miscarriage by the owner: 'you have obviously been affected by what happened, but you need to deal with it. you should get therapy.' this was after i told her that i was a bit nervous knowing that we were going to have a huge snowstorm... and i was going to have to drive through it in the morning. therapy? really? perhaps if i was worried about the snow NEXT year. geez.

together.

it's true. we are together. everything with immigration went well as soon as they recieved the medicals. aderito was sent his permanent residence card at the end of april, and by the end of may he was in canada! as soon as he arrived i started the grand job search... for him. amazingly enough he had 4 calls within the first week. he took the first job that was offered. however, it was in toronto. which meant we had to find a place to live asap!! within 2 weeks we found a place, and moved in the last week of june.

it's september now. and just yesterday we bought our first piece of furniture! we were living fine off of one income... but, i had to find a job if we ever wanted to get ahead and eat off a table. we went to ikea friday night, bought a table... it's lovely! and window treatments. i call them that because they aren't quite a blind, and not quite a curtain. it's called a panel curtain. anyways, it was a complete bitch to assemble. why can't ikea tell us what is going to be included in the "self assembly"?! i had to sew people. i can cook. i can read. and i sure can shop. but, sewing. not my thing. i made it work, and now we have panel curtains in the living room, along with a lovely table. next... a bed frame. as much as i love that i can literally roll out of bed in the morning... it would be nice to step out.

i'm having issues figuring out what to name the blog. i wanted to call it something along the lines of "lost in translation"... but, that title has been used many times. it's so true though... i can't even tell you how often we don't understand what the other one is trying to say. which is sometimes really seriously funny. other times... a huge frustration. thankfully i have our handy dandy portuguese-english dictionary on hand at all times... and i can just find the word and try to say the word in portuguese. i need to work on that!

i need to tell you about my new job!! it's amazing. however, aderito is clearing his throat and pacing... which means that he would like to use the computer. there are many futball games on today... and he needs to start watching them! and i have to bake a cake... yeah, i'll tell you about that next time too. goodness.

spangles.

yeah. well...

guess where aderito's passport is?! still in freakin' new york.

dear immigration officer,

please hurry up and send aderito back his passport stamped with that lovely visa, and his certificate of permanent residence. we don't plan on seeing each other until july so, he doesn't need it asap to fly or anything. but, he would like to be able to book his flight... and soon... he can get a round trip flight for only $215! so. please. let's get movin' on the passport, k?

thanks.
nikki


in other news. i quit that job.

in other other news. i found a new one.

well... it found me. seriously. a few weeks ago, i received an phone call from a former chef. he left a message saying that there was a job opening at a restaurant in crystal beach... a restaurant owner was looking for a chef to take over the kitchen, the restaurant had been closed for the past few months and he wanted to re-open soon. i listened to the message, and then promptly deleted it. no thanks! a few weeks later, i'm at the spa... and the esthetician was a girl that i went to school with. she was telling me that she has a friend that was moving back home to take over a restaurant... the very same one that i heard about! we chatted about what the food would be like, and how cool it will be when jenn takes over the kitchen! and then! on monday, i was home sick from work... i managed to catch something wicked. when i woke up in the morning, i checked my email... there was a message from my neighbour, patti. jenn... the girl that is re-opening the kitchen was at patti's house for easter dinner and was talking about taking over the kitchen and needing new staff. patti immediately suggested me... and jenn said that if i was interested in a position to just email her my resume and we could talk. well... wednesday i went to the restaurant to meet up with jenn and the owner. we talked a whole lot... i had the opportunity to hear about where jenn has been... and what she wants to do at the restaurant. i'm excited. especially to work in a nice, clean, well organized, highly communicative kitchen. ahhh. it will be wonderful.

what i am not looking forward to... is working at night. aderito and i have this lovely routine. we chat 4 times a night. it's kept both of us sane... and able to deal with a long-distance relationship that has lasted for 3 years. even though the chats are quick... it still gives us that chance to connect and for me gives me a great deal of security. i love when we talk. i look forward to it. and well. working at night, i'm not going to be able to do that. i am going to try!! that's for sure! the other thing that is already causing a bit of stress... is that we have already planned for him to come here in july for 3 weeks. we haven't make any solid plans as to what we will do when he is here. but.. i really do NOT want to have to spend a lot of that time working. i want to be with aderito. we were only together for 3 weeks at christmas... and he worked a bunch while i was there. it won't be until this next christmas that we see each other again. ugh. i just need to know that we will be able to have time together in july. we had planned on going to florida for a week. how sweet would that be? perhaps we will have to put those plans on hold until the beginning of next year. who knows. none of these questions will be answered... until i let my new boss' know what is going on, right?

alright. i'm going to watch a movie... or do something. i took a nap this afternoon because i had a brutal headache. hopefully i'm not up till 3am because of it.

the forgotten signature.

well. aderito's passport request came. there was much rejoicing. then, he fedexed everything here to me... the letter, passport, pictures. i went through everything and made sure that the paperwork was filled out, the pictures were in thier separate envelopes. then, off to buffalo my mom and i went. it's cheaper to just drive over the border and send it off from fedex over there. i was so excited to have it sent off to new york!! i was so excited to go home and call aderito so we could celebrate! i was in mid-celebration... when i realized that aderito had forgotten to sign the passport request paperwork. ugh. i called fedex quickly... but, it had already been sent off. so, now we wait. will new york send everything back... and aderito will fill out and SIGN the request this time? will new york be ok with the paperwork not being signed and give aderito his visa? who knows. i keep checking his email to see if they send another request... so we can get it right this time. i think that it's totally valid for me to feel like i've been in immigration limbo for the past 6 months. it's not fun. i hope that i'm able to get out of it soon... and onto a higher, more stable ground.

how is work... you ask? well. umm. perhaps we should talk about something else. if it does happen to come up in conversation... all that will be said is that it is a means to an end. that's it.

the eating has went wonderfully! my lunches have been plentiful and healthy. i drink 2 liters of water during the day. and umm... dinners at night have went well too. tonight was salmon and potatoes. i felt good about the lack of vegetables... i ate many veggies today already for lunch and snacks.

ok. back to the work conversation. i was totally wrong about the hours i would be working. i made it clear that i will only work during the day. so, my shifts are... 9-5 monday to friday. i can handle that. as well as every other saturday 10-6. i can handle that too. however, the week i work saturday... i don't get another day off during the week... nope, that week i have to work 6 days. ick. that means this weekend i have to work saturday. but, easter weekend... i get 3 days off. giddy up!! i love that! i plan on baking that weekend. we have a shitload of bananas that need to be transformed into bread. yum.

i miss aderito extra right now. i think that it's because last year i saw him in september and then only had to wait until december. that's 3 big bad months. nothing at all!! this time... i left him in january and i won't see him again until july. eff. that's a long time. it's not the longest we've ever went... but, seriously.... it's toooo long. initally we said that he would only vacation for 2 weeks this year. but, i'm not sure if that's possible. seriously... away for 6 months and together for 2 weeks?! and then during that time he thinks that i should keep working. blahhhhhh. no way. no chance. i think i need some chocolate.

and that's exactly what i am going to do... i am going to eat chocolate. cadbury flake. and then... call aderito. i also may or may not be watching dancing with the stars.

the day before: work

yet again... i'm sitting in bed watching tv. desperate housewives. it's not super interesting, kinda keeping my attention. however, my mind keeps wandering to tomorrow morning.

you see... tomorrow is the day that i start my new job. ha! i should just say... i start a job. it's been a while since i've worked. i was laid-off december 2008. aderito was working a lot... and we were able to save money, even with me not working. and well... 2009 was the year of travelling. cuba, portugal and then bermuda. in between all that was the crazy gathering, sorting, filling out of paperwork, and hoping. lots of hoping. that pretty much filled up last year. so, now... i need to work. my mind needs keep busy, my body needs to do something, and we need to really save moola for the big move next year!

i'm a bit nervous about starting this new job. it's not a difficult job. it's just the unexpected. i love to know what's going to happen. i do not like surprises. at all. i do love expectations... lay them out for me... and i will do anything to meet them and exceed them. why i wasn't like this in high school, i don't know. i get to wear clothes to work. not that i worked naked before. it was always chef uniforms i was wearing, and of course the restaurants i have worked in didn't allow any sort of personal style. so, this will be a nice change... kinda. i have to wear "business casual" clothes. i went and shopped on thursday, found a really nice pair of pants... and black flats. hopefully i will be conservative enough. i'm excited to check everyone else out, see how far i can get away from the business part and closer to the oh-so-wonderful casual.

this is going to sound... not nice. but, every time i start a new job... i worry that people are going to want to be my friend. i'm nice, outgoing, super friendly, and funny. which bodes well in a work place... but then people want to hang out with me. i just want to work, go home, talk to aderito... and plan our plans. i have friends. i have people that i like already. goodness. thinking this is my head is a whole lot different than typing it out, and reading how wretched i sound. i do want work friends, i just don't want them to be my out-of-work friends. is that bad? it's bad.

a new job means change. so, tomorrow will also be the beginning of eating healthy. i made a big huge quinoa salad filled with veggies to take for lunch all week. i bought yogurt, and fruit, and raw almonds to snack on... i will NOT get caught up in the office junk food. oh! i also have a water bottle that i picked up today, i hope to drink more water too. as for quick healthy dinners through out the week... i think that i'll figure something out. thankfully my shift is over at 4pm, it will take about an hour to get home. i have a feeling that this will be a good trial week, but that i just might have to make a dinner plan. i like plans. systems. schedules. when they are on my terms... and planning dinner. definitely up to me! however, i won't complain if my mom cooks... she made some killer barbeque chicken last night!

somewhere in there i need to find time to walk... or move in general. when i get home from work? i think that's the best time. there is no chance that i am going to be getting up at 6am to work out... getting up at 7am will be hard enough!

time to close down the computer. get comfy in bed. watch a bit more nonsense on tv... and hopefully my eyes will close easily, and my mind will stop making that whirring noise.

closer to being together...

monday are brutal for television. ick. i am ashamed to admit that i am indeed watching "molly and jason's wedding - the bachelor". my excuse is that i need closure... i watched jason's season of the bachelor from the beginning, i see to see it though and watch the wedding. ha!

oh yes. immigration. well. i called ottawa, and asked what was going on with aderito's medical results. the woman on the other end was NOT happy that i had her phone number... i apologized and told her that i was told she was able to tell me what was going on... when she finally conceded, i didn't have the proper file number in order for her to find the medicals!! ugh. so, that ended up not going well. thankfully, i am a bit of an immigration forum addict. there was a case that started a bit before mine, and was processed in record time. this person was super pro-active and sent a fax to ottawa, and requested that the medicals be sent onto the consulate. i sent this person a message, and she was so sweet and kind!! together with two different fax numbers, she also sent a copy of the fax that she had sent to ottaw!! perfect. so, i faxed ottawa... and heard a response from them the next day!! woohoo!! march 2nd, i checked aderito's email... lo and behold there was an email from new york!!! yes! it said that his passport request was in the mail!! yay! how wonderful! we are waiting for aderito to receive that letter still, from north america it takes about 2 weeks for a letter to get to aderito. it's mostly bermuda's fault... they are pretty slow when it comes to mail processing. ugh. so, by next monday aderito should have that lovely letter in his hand!! from there he has to do a bit more paperwork, a few more pictures, and then it all gets sent to new york!! weeee!! new york then puts a visa into his passport, and sends a letter of confirmation of permanent residence. and then... when aderito is here he lands, we start paperwork for his sin card, health card, everything!!

of course, aderito won't be staying when he comes in july. he will be going back to bermuda... his contract isn't over until october... and even then he can stay for another 3 months after his contract is finished. i think that i will go to bermuda again this year for christmas... only this time aderito will come back with me!! where we will go from there... i have no idea.

i've been doing so much research trying to figure out where aderito can work. there are a few construction companies in toronto that request the employee be able to speak portuguese on the job site. hopefully one of those jobs will work out for aderito... and depending on which job he gets... we will decide where to live. it's going to be north of toronto, as much fun as it would be being downtown right in portugal village... it's far too expensive. yikes!!

ohh!! i've found a job. it's bizarre... because it's far from what i've done over the past 10 years in the kitchen. it will be so nice to work, i'm ready anything. to wake up at a normal time. and well... to make some money. it would be nice for aderito and i to have some money saved up for when he moves here.

guess what time of the year it is? time for nikki to start moving her ass a bit. i'm really ready to start riding my bike again. i would like to start running. two years ago, i started running a bit. i think this will be the year that i start running full time. i have shoes. all i need is an ipod, and i'll be good to go. oh. and i would prefer for the snow to melt first too. then, i will run. i don't really have any other excuses. i live in a pretty good area, with a trail that's really close. i just need some.. motivation. ha! oh boy... do i even need motivation.

tomorrow i'm having lunch with 2 of my favourite people. i'm excited. hopefully i'm able to get some sleep tonight!!